I am one of those people who LOVES to tell you how I NEVER get sick. Honestly, I can鈥檛 even remember the last time I had a cold. (See, I just did it and this article has only begun) But seriously, I don鈥檛 get sick. My claim to fame in recent years is that I never got COVID. Ever. Now, friends will disagree and claim I must have never been tested, but I did test, and it came back negative every time. So, it鈥檚 official 鈥 I literally never get sick.
Until I did. And then, I remembered why I never get sick.
Because if I do get sick, I go down hard!
It started with a slight tickle in my throat. Allergies, I said to myself.
But I don鈥檛 have allergies. But since that鈥檚 what everyone always says, I said it too.
Then came the slight fever, the cough and the painful, excruciatingly so, sore throat!
鈥淚鈥檓 sick!鈥 I woke my husband to tell him.
Not getting anywhere with him, I texted my two daughters. Both nurses.
鈥淭ake medicine,鈥 said the one.
鈥淐an I borrow your new blue dress?鈥 said the other.
And for a solid week, I have lived with this worst cold ever. Day 3, my right eye turned red, and I woke up with it superglued shut! I looked like a one-eyed freak until I got drops on Day 4. Day 5, I lost my voice and went down the Google rabbit hole of 鈥渃an you lose your voice forever?鈥 query. You can. But it鈥檚 rare. Thankfully, on Day 7, it came back. But believe me on Day 6, I was thinking my career was over and I was going to never speak again.
鈥淚鈥檓 going to be a mute, one-eyed freak!鈥 I told my husband.
鈥淵ou have a cold. And mutes don鈥檛 speak,鈥 he said in his most non-comforting, eye-roll tone.
My bathroom counter is riddled with Dayquil, Nyquil, Advil, vitamins, salt (to gargle with), eyedrops and Vicks 鈥 because Vicks cures everything is what I鈥檝e always told my children. But I lied. It doesn鈥檛! And it鈥檚 a goopy mess!
I finally broke down last night and went old school 鈥 whiskey, honey and lemon 鈥 warmed up and slowly sipped on.
鈥淔eel better?鈥 my husband, aka not Mother Teresa, inquired.
鈥淎 little,鈥 I mouthed, because I鈥檓 still pretty pathetic while also trying to conserve my vocal cords.
鈥淎re you finally going to stop telling people you don鈥檛 get sick?鈥 he had to ask.
Does it count, though, if you didn鈥檛 go to the doctor and no one in your family cares? I don鈥檛 think so. So, yes, the streak continues!
鈥淚t鈥檚 allergies,鈥 I whispered and kept on sipping.
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